# Crystal Phallus, Birmingham - UK



## Jondoe_264 (Oct 9, 2007)

Cross posting between here and UER drainers board for those that won't see it over there. 

During the recent Birmingham weekender my plan was to explore the three uber drains that Drainrat & Oggy had discovered, and hopefully check out a few other potential new bits and pieces. As things went I only got to see the one new spot, a 1.5 mile(_of easily explorable_) culvert along the same Brook as Moonwalker, Baptizer and Mistaken Identity. 

At its upstream end in NW Birmingham the Hockley Brook runs above ground in a brick channel, hidden from view, sandwiched between decaying industrial relics in an area of the City frequented only by those whos employment brings them there. I was feeling a little out of sorts being the only guy wearing waders, a rucksack and toting a tripod. The unease quickly left me as I stepped off the street and out of sight, into the oasis that is the brooks above ground channel.

Heading upstream the drain starts off with a short stretch of 300 metres or so, running beneath an old cotton mill. At about mid way along this short section daylight spills in where the remains of a wooden and metal construction teeter on steel I-beams that jut out of the wall. Logic would lead me to believe that it must have been drainage related, but who can tell from what was left of it.






_Mid way in the initial short section_

Once out of this short section there is a 50 metre stretch above ground, and then it's back underground for the next mile and a half. The outfall of this second section is a twin brick arch of around seven foot and seems highly likely to have been a road bridge that the tail end of the culvert was built up to. Following the twin arches the floor in this first section is identical to the above ground channel while the walls and ceiling are pre-cast concrete sections.





_A corner of the first stage of construction encountered_

The above pic is looking downstream at a point where an older brick arched tunnel joins on the left, it enters the main tunnel via a drop of four steps. Travelling up the five foot side pipe it soon splits into two much smaller brick arched tunnels, one flowing into the side pipe, the other silted to high heaven, I headed back into the main tunnel. 





_The same spot back in the main tunnel, photographed looking upstream._

Continuing upstream, immediately around the corner the tunnel became very silted and blocked with big debris of a size that must have taken some force to transplant it there. This lasted for 20 metres or so and was followed by a section of deep water built up behind the blockages. The box shaped tunnel went on for sometime with the occasional overflow drop shaft (too tall to scale), topped with a slide joining from above, water was flowing in here as well as daylight, as if these overflows were along the route of an aboveground watercourse? I've been unable to figure out yet the exact route of the drain. 

The box section terminates as you round a bend to be greeted by an oddly shaped brick tunnel, at least initially I thought it was entirely brick. Its floor is brick to a point about two foot up the wall, the tunnel is then stepped outwards with a concrete ledge and the rest of the tunnel is of a poured concrete construction, or a shored up concrete render? odd whatever the case.





_A big old RCP protrudes into the main pipe, looking downstream, the end of the box section can be seen._

Black and white pic because the colours were messed up.  So now I was really enjoying myself, it was turning out to be a cool little drain! The concrete rcp lead to a small modern junction of ever decreasing rcps, I've no idea why such a big gage pipe was bodged into the tunnel when a short distance it split into a couple of pipes a third its size? I carried on upstream, passing the occasional access niche where small side pipes joined.





_One of the niches _

It was around about this point that I noticed the first of the names sake formations!  There were only a few, but they made me grin so much I felt it right to name the drain after them, stalagmites of varying sizes all standing proud and upright and looking unmistakably penile (yes I just used the word penile in a drain thread). 





_Case in point, Phallic formation, stage left_

By now I was both highly amused and enjoying the drain, if st00p had been there present I can imagine the hilarity that would have ensued that first phallic formation. There were also lots of nice straw like stalactites along this particular section as well, as can be seen in the above pic, especially in the background beyond my seated position.

Yet further upstream I start to get closer to a crashing water sound that has been getting gradually louder for sometime. Sounding like it was directly ahead of me I shone the big beam torch up the tunnel to see the bottom three steps of a set of eleven a little way off down the tunnel. When I reached the foot of the steps they were't the most amazing of drain stairs, but they were unexpected and I was well pleased.





_At the bottom of the steps_

At the top of the steps the drain switched to a four foot concrete box, I travelled some way up this, to a point where its size reduced again. By now I'd been underground a good while, I was happy with my explore and so decided to end it here and head off back on the downstream journey.





_Looking upstream into the 4 foot box section_

It was a very fun drain 

Sundays draining was rather more of a disaster than the previous day.  LOL! I got very wet and fell over quite a lot and failed miserably to take any half decent pics, to the point where I put all my camera gear away. LOL! Odd how that goes sometimes, one day all is well, the next you can't take a picture for toffee?!

JD


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## Foxylady (Oct 9, 2007)

Superb photos, JD. Loved pic number 6, especially, and that waterfall staircase is brilliant. Looks a really interesting place - just the kind of drain I'd like to explore. 

Cheers


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## indy (Oct 9, 2007)

Nice pics there JD,
I really like the combination of hot and cool lighting,
especialy from the third pic down.


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## King Al (Oct 9, 2007)

Beautiful drain, great pictures


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## Reaperman (Oct 9, 2007)

LOL, Thats the drain dave and I call spider culvert! (After the number of 8 legged beasties that called it home. The ventilation unit leads to the mill / factory that dave and I visited in 2005! and that we climbed on saturday. 

I'll see if I can dig out some photos 

Found some pics 

*Photos From 05* - Dedicated to the Taxi driver who gave two strangely dressed guys a lift!

























​


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## King Al (Oct 9, 2007)

Small World ey


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## Jondoe_264 (Oct 9, 2007)

Reaperman said:


> LOL, Thats the drain dave and I call spider culvert! (After the number of 8 legged beasties that called it home. The ventilation unit leads to the mill / factory that dave and I visited in 2005! and that we climbed on saturday.
> 
> I'll see if I can dig out some photos
> 
> ...



Ha! Fight you for it! 

That drain must induce sitting down styley pics due to the odd concrete ledge.

JD


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## Reaperman (Oct 9, 2007)

Well you can have it really,  Your pics were much better than mine!

I dont mind Running with Crystal Phallus as the public name. Afterall we sorta lost the rights to naming when we completely failed to post any photos of it. (I'm way to lax with posting up places we go!)


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## Jondoe_264 (Oct 9, 2007)

Reaperman said:


> Well you can have it really,  Your pics were much better than mine!
> 
> I dont mind Running with Crystal Phallus as the public name. Afterall we sorta lost the rights to naming when we completely failed to post any photos of it. (I'm way to lax with posting up places we go!)



Whichever you prefer Sir?! _Crystal Phallus_ is one of my favourite drains names to date, LOL!!! With slightly obscure secondary football implications as I think the drain runs beneath the ground of West Bromich Albion at one point. So this being the Spider Culvert you guys explored back then, what was the short culvert near the gas holders somewhere in Birmingham that you explored around the same time? Because that's the one we checked out following Dave pointing us in its direction.

JD


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## sheep2405 (Oct 9, 2007)

WOW so much miss doing drains like that, they are so much like the original drains they made in Sydney before concrete took over.

S


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## smileysal (Oct 12, 2007)

ooooooooh, Cheers JD, that first pic looks very familiar lol. Looks brilliant further up, on the Saturday, only one of us had wellies on, (mine were in the car  ) so we only went up here to where it split off into two, then came down the other side. 

The tunnels and the steps look awesome, now im wishing id stayed now  Will have to have a look at this one another time (when im more prepared).

Love the light, and the stallactites, the mixture of brick and concrete, the different shapes etc. And both names fit lol. There were loads of crystal looking stuff, and the spiders 

Cheers again JD, love all the pics. 

 Sal


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## mr_bones (Oct 12, 2007)

Fantastic thread. Great input from JD and good to see Reapermans original 2005 photos.

Funny to think we had been down there just hours before! You probably saw our fresh footprints!

Superb.


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## smileysal (Oct 12, 2007)

hehe, don't forget the slip marks mr b lol.

Heres when we were climbing down back into the tunnel. What a tight squeeze 





 Sal


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## Foxylady (Oct 12, 2007)

Brilliant stuff, chaps and chapess! 
Eeeeh, I'm dead jealous now...wish I could've been there.


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## mr_bones (Oct 12, 2007)

great picture there Sal. Yup size 12 stomp marks straight down stream!


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## Lightbuoy (Oct 16, 2007)

Supa dupa pics there JD & Reaps! 
Like the way you capture the brickwork texture and the water cascading down the steps -class! Nice write up too JD. Was good to meet you at last the other weekend.

Lb


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## Lightbuoy (Oct 16, 2007)

smileysal said:


> hehe, don't forget the slip marks mr b lol.
> 
> Heres when we were climbing down back into the tunnel. What a tight squeeze
> 
> ...



Ahhh, so that's what it looked like above all that twisted metalwork! 
Must dig out that "action" shot of Mr Bones sometime! 

Lb

P.s. -of course (cough cough) I would have come up there too, if there'd been a way through into the Factory!!


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## Lightbuoy (Oct 16, 2007)

A few I took whilst exploring with Reaps, Mr Bones & Smiley Sal (again, thanks to Reaps for the tour 


















The "action" shot!! 





































This brickwork is a work of art!





Old & new....






















Rather stinky, but really enjoyed this -a first for me 

Lb


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## smileysal (Oct 19, 2007)

Good pics Lb, Yes it was rather smelly wasn't it, till we got used to it. None of my pics turned out in there (only the one of RM and Mr B climbing back down), must remember to buy a new (brighter) torch for the draining stuff, and not to forget to put my wellies on next time. 

 Sal


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