# Finally! Saint Joseph's Seminary Upholland June 2013



## Mars Lander

I am now Mars Lander as I must cast off my former name, I was never to keen on it anyhow and now is as good a time so to celebrate let me share with you some EPIC!!

3 years ago when we first really started to get into the whole explore thing, we looked for things pretty close to home. We came across Saint Jo's Seminary Upholland, little realising at the time what the state of play was, Luckypants and I waltzed around like true beginners . I pressed my face right up to the security unit window looking in, no one at home (he was actually asleep) , me waving at all the CCTVs thinking they were all fake and props to deter the casual visitor. Oh no's as I doubled back to make sure we were in the clear, as we were about to test an entry , he appeared from nowhere. He was a big fella with scars on his forehead, he was ok tho , despite us asking for him to let us in, he walked us off the grounds saying we had disturbed his sleep, as he was warned of our presence from HQ haha.

After having seen what I saw , it never went away, I researched more and more, info was sketchy, hardly anyone had been in, cctvs everywhere outside and IN, Mr big secca man/mans, alarms throughout and occasional police dog training sessions, this one was gonna be one tough cookie.

Many more quick running into the grounds to see what's happening off again, as the cameras clocked me, and finally it was time. Me and a none explorer who's arm was well twisted up his back after I had mithered him half to death to come with me, such a good friend indeed is he to brave this the most intimidating of adventures.....we failed!!! and went to Pool Parc instead haha.

Fast forward to another recce recently Luckypants and I were itching to get in like looonies, finally a breakthrough ( not literally before you shout OI!! ) we had a way in and ran off to make plans.....and plan we did.

Ladies and Gentleman of all the Saint Joseph's in the UK this is the DADDY of them all, probably the finest explore the North West can muster up presenting to you....







Going here you have to potentially go suicidal splore..i.e. get in and get caught and hopefully see as much and get as many piks as you can, I had a plan to try and prolong our visit and even as a bonus not get caught. I did goto Camelot a 5th time after all to show Andre Govia around and he warned me not to go too, as one of his comrades spent 6 hours in the cells and was accused of breaking things?? But we JUST had to see.

This place was once a priest college and had the distinction of having Johnny Vegas as a former pupil haha.

it also boasted at one time its own observatory , sadly the telescope is gone and the dome is in a bad state of repair, our crew assembles for the crew show immediately this could be the only shot as it were.

All up for the big day was Luckypants, ProjectMayhem , PerjurySaint and myself






I wondered if Johnny himself had leafed thru this very ...good book.






Navigating this place was gonna tricky not going into details but its not exactly a sunday stroll any means and its absolutely HUGEOUS with copious amounts of unchavved nicety and little architectural ornateness this place KIN rocks check out his iron flower of a staircase..am sure Luckypants and PerjurySaint will supply the more vertical viewpoint I gotta admit I was engrossed and bewildered with it all, I kept pinching Luckypants I can't believe we are ins St Jo's ...well I pinched him once. haha






I wondered if we had been successful 3 years ago if the library would of been better stocked..






no books just...dead things, I recreated my version of that thing out of Jason and the Argonauts, that he has to kill to get the golden fleece, St Jo's was my golden fleece ! , as I take this photograph , I think of that bell at the end of the said film and quote him aloud " ...arise children of the teeth (beaks) , kill them, KILL THEM ALL!" This had PerjurySaint quite bemused.






down lengthy dark passageways we come across one of the most bizarre rooms outside of Furhouse more dead things but still in their skins as it were...






Sadly there must of been heavyhandness as heads were off on some, most unseemly uncalled for and decidedly unsavoury I recreate a bird zombie attack and unleash it here on the internets so they might live once more ,digitally momentarily on your screenz arrrrrrrrr s e






Other exhibits included this scene from the film "Finding Nemo" a nice normal looking starfish, one covered in unpleasantness in the form of mould and a multifingered mutant, alas none were of the chocolate species






Time moves and so do we excitedly let' s explore some more.






corridors like the above and then large expanses...






everything is so much different and unpredictable...as you suddenly see this out of the blue a rather large confessional room , I wonder if Johnny off loaded any unclean thoughts in here.






Nothing a cold shower wont put out, but remember Johnny you know how some priests are, so don't bend down for the soap.






Ok enough already with the Johnny thing, I know of something we must see the fabulous statues...We had seen them ages ago but working out how to get to them was quite a puzzle...a well deserved break here with drinks and nuts we need energy we been in here for hours by now.






upward and onward what else does this place possess, altho many items are long gone there are a few artefacts remaining besides the stuffed birds and hamsters some internal organs






the building is mostly in good nick but it is starting to deteriorate in parts mainly thru water damage, I wonder why the guy in Ireland who owns the place doesn't do anything withit, as I take this picture the dramas begin ...






Luckypants and I hear fast approaching vehicle as it distrupts the gravel path just outside.. we gather together make for our stringency plan for evasion, we spy a look to see where the secca van is but oh dear it aint secca...the calvary has arrived complete with dog unit...thoughts of the paw prints we saw on our way in come to mind, we wait for a LOONG time and ascertain that it's just an impromptu training session, ah well sunbathe times...






...Later we find more aceness grand corridors with fungi the size of tables and random religious artefacts






more randomness a massive billiard table with scrabble letters on...






Some of our party wander into the danger zone and the most awful alarm wailing ever!! I mean that loud it really is unbearable and it's a major shock to the senses literally, we run about like those headless birds in the attic , regroup and spend more time in anxiousness

We've had a good run , there is a lot more to see , but shall leave that to my comrades who will add or make their own reports on this massive and most delightful of explores, i'll leave you with Adolf...






Just as we are about to embark on our departure ProjectMayhem spots a guy walking a dog with a camera, he points it at the building to take a picture , I wonder when he gets home and looks at his photo whether he spots us in the top window doing the metal salute haha 

We escape into the sunlight and make haste with our images , leaving 11 hours later with Saint Joseph's screaming, alarmingly loud into the summer afternoon air.

Thanks for looking and hope you enjoyed my recount of one of the best explores I've been on and thanks to Luckypants, ProjectMayhem and PerjurySaint for being such wonderful team players and amazing friends.​


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## Sshhhh...

Awww, I am soo jealous! Can't believe I let this explore with you guys slip through my fingers! Fantastic pics there Mr Lander What a place


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## PROJ3CTM4YH3M

This is full of epicness! by far one of the best days out I've ever had! Great work with the report and the photos! You did well with the dead stuff! I really wasn't feeling it in that room! Glad I managed to get a few zzzz's in though paid off later in the day


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## Neverwillchange

That's truly fu-k-ng epic very welldone.


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## Mars Lander

PROJ3CTM4YH3M said:


> This is full of epicness! by far one of the best days out I've ever had! Great work with the report and the photos! You did well with the dead stuff! I really wasn't feeling it in that room! Glad I managed to get a few zzzz's in though paid off later in the day



same as mate!!!!, just wish Sshhhh... could of made it too , would then of been perfection


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## Mars Lander

Neverwillchange said:


> That's truly fu-k-ng epic very welldone.



Heyy thank lots


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## ImmortalShadow

Extremely epic work as usual, love it!


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## perjury saint

An intriguing text on friday night (wanna go epic shag?) had me hotfooting it in a northerly direction in the wee hours... With a small team assembled we were off to crack a right 'hard nut'! I was giving it 60/40 with the odds stacked against success! 
Against the odds and 12 hours later, we emerged with the LOUDEST alarm known to man ringing in our ears!!
Not gonna top this un for a fair bit me thinks!!
Ace company, MANY sniggers and some jaw droppin' sights!!
Heres a few of me piccies...















 








































Right then Mr Lander... We best get off and find another impossibly hard nut eh? ​


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## Lucky Pants

Grand shots you two of what turned out to be quiet a eventful days explore  she played a belta


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## shot_in_the_dark

stunning shots of a stunning looking place, thanks for sharing!


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## Neverwillchange

Further epicness (show offs)


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## skankypants

You lot realy do go to extremes with your locations,and seem to be steps ahead of the rest...both sets of photos are amazing...Alts quality report,great pics,and P.S"s pics are of the highest quality...hats off....can you improve on this???I doubt,but im sure you will...nice touch with the hitler room


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## ImmortalShadow

Ace shots from you too, perjury saint  great stuff.


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## peterc4

well done chaps a top report and story must try my look very soon...


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## Mars Lander

@PerjurySaint yay . Superb set of pikinies there the corridors were legendary next stop.The Guardian Network haha


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## perjury saint

Mars Lander said:


> @PerjurySaint yay . Superb set of pikinies there the corridors were legendary next stop.The Guardian Network haha



*Cheers SHAG! Lovin yer crew shot... Tis a BOSTER!! *


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## woodland pixie

Oh just wow this is full of awesomeness and beauty! Love the stained glass window...love it all in fact. I'll be honest here though, your Jason and the Argonauts reference had me bemused also. I read 'arse children' not 'arise' about 5 times )) yeah we had no tv back in the day I am not familiar with Jason or his Argonauts.... bloody amazing place and super impressed by your bravery I would've shit it big time...dogs...alarms....cops....ugh. Impromptu sun snooze sounds nice too


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## UE-OMJ

Epic, epic, epic!! Absolutely brilliant. And I love 'Adolf'


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## TeeJF

Well done. It's taken you a long time and some serious persistence too. I bet you are well chuffed!


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## Mars Lander

TeeJF said:


> Well done. It's taken you a long time and some serious persistence too. I bet you are well chuffed!



I gotta say I am, I was worried it was gonna be a huge disappointment but it wasn't. You caught an insider glimpse much previous tho


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## Sshhhh...

Wonderful shots there Mr Saint! She looks a stunner


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## flyboys90

Cracking report & photos from both of you.


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## Lucky Pants

Finally managed to sort me pics out of this fantastic days explore 















































Thanks for looking ​


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## Mars Lander

YAY you made it, super uber shots dude, was the bestest of explores !!! How the hell did you get that statue shot I thought The Saint was pushing it with his bravado.


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## perjury saint

*Splendid pix Mr Pants!! Exceptional in fact seeing as you had to stap yer camera to the tripod with an old bandage... *


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## Stealthstar79

WOW WOW WOW!
Fantastic report Alt and superb pics, all of you.
This place is amazing, I can see why you never gave up!
Thanks for sharing!


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## UrbanX

Pffft, looks alright I suppose...
Lol, just kidding looks like you all had an amazing adventure, and an eventful day out! 
Loving all of your photos, keep it up


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## gigi

been meaning to go here for agesssss! great photos Mars, PS and Pants


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## peterc4

even more niceness from the saint and mr pants, well done gents


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## ZerO81

Very nicely done people, its really is a fantastic place!

I was under the impression it was owned by a guy who was based in the Isle of Mann though? The guy I was speaking to a couple of years ago when I went was from there anyhow.


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## Stealthstar79

Stealthstar79 said:


> WOW WOW WOW!
> Fantastic report Alt and superb pics, all of you.
> This place is amazing, I can see why you never gave up!
> Thanks for sharing!



Sorry, I mean Mars Lander! 
It's gonna take a while..


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## Mars Lander

Stealthstar79 said:


> Sorry, I mean Mars Lander!
> It's gonna take a while..



haha its all about the fun


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## Sshhhh...

Wonderful shots Mr Panties! I love pic three! I feel left out, boo hoo


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## Neverwillchange

Further further epicness!!!


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## Lucky Pants

Sshhhh... said:


> Wonderful shots Mr Panties! I love pic three! I feel left out, boo hoo



Thank you, i dont know what to say  apart from it was a pitty you wasn't with us as Mr Lander says it would have made it a perfect explore


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## Romford Reject

That place is amazeballs


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## NakedEye

ridiculously good!! awe inspiring report....wow!!!!


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## sonyes

Well the perseverance paid off in an epic way.......stunning pics from you all, and a bloody ace report. Brilliant stuff guys


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## woodland pixie

Wicked additions! You were wearing your lucky pants weren't you...thank you for sharing. Did you *actually* touch that dead bird and put it in the box for that photo? *shudder* love the little wooden door...confession box thing. 3rd one down, those mushrooms are beautiful


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## krela

Wow beautiful shots from all of you, and a nice variety of processing to make them all stand out. Thanks you guys.


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## LittleOz

....... speechless with envy at you guys' epicness


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## Landie_Man

Wow! Look at that, what an awesome place. Must get here one day


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## Mars Lander

cheers all for your absolute wonderful feedback


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## MrDan

What can I say? You guys really know how much hard work and persistence pays off! Absolutely awesome explore by the looks of it. What I wouldn't give to see something in this same league! 
Props to you all. Fantastic write-up too Mars. I really do get excited when I see there's a new report from one of you guys.

Edit: It took me a second look to realise the Adolf reference, aha!


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## Quattre

It's magnificent.


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## Pen15

Stunning sets from you all of an equally stunning place. 

Love the processing too. 

I always think that it will be hard for you all to match your last reports as they are such quality but you never stop amazing us all. Looking forward to your next ones


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## whitelaw

Interesting that this, like some other seminaries, has an observatory. Quite what that has to do with the training of future priests I have no idea - nonetheless, it is not an uncommon feature. As I recall, Gallileo got into serious trouble with the Catholic church for daring to suggest that the Earth was not the centre of the solar system OR universe, and that it travelled around the sun, rather than the other way round. He attempted to prove his theories to the Pope using his telescope, which the Pope described as an "instrument of evil".... before promptly building observatories into seminaries! Strange old world, eh?


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## Ade Somerset

Wowzzers that's so nice, thanks for sharing mars and co.


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