# Pandora's Birth Canal (skanky skanky skanky)



## dsankt (Jun 25, 2008)

Sweet megabus! How I adore thine shot suspension and unadmirable ride quality. In our times apart how I miss your smelly passengers of which I am sometimes numbered. You are ever bumpy and dirty, never hasty but available at a price for which Teh Otter and I would spring to spend 9 turbulent hours nestled in your deteriorating foamy seats. Destination: Bradford and Leeds, Mission: drains!

Remove your shoes. Undress. Before you is a small concrete slot 30cm high and 50cm wide. 5cm of clearish water flows over what appears to be a brown mossy fungus. Repeat until believed and internalised: "It's only moss". Take a garbage bag, tear open the bottom and fashion yourself a makeshift toga or swimsuit. Take another and create a kilt if you wish. Pandora cares not for catwalk fashion though Harold would approve of course.






pic: Otter


Pandora's Slot calls to you, what charms does she conceal behind that concrete portal? Drop your knees into the icy water, arch your back then slide your hands through the slot. Feel the velvety moss brushing through your fingers. Tense your abs, keep your nipples above water and scramble for traction with your toes. Push push push! Dip your groin in the water and you'll catch the aids! Here the Otter demonstrates his natural disposition towards this kind of thing.







Following Pandora's Box for a way from her slot leads eventually to the overflow of a disgusting trunk sewer, lovingly named Pandora's Arsehole. A large room of balconies overlook the sewer, like a viewing gallery of sorts. DDT and Little Mike had requested we bring some climbing gear to augment his clothes line knot ladder to negotiate the 4m drop into the trunk.





pic: Little Mike







Rigged and kitted we climbed down and began upstream in the thickest man mud miasma yet. Small droplets seemed to hang in the air quickly dampening the bandanna I was breathing through. It's no P100 respirator but improvisation has quickly become a trademark of the North. Clothes line ropes, seriously. The sewer terminates in a 4 story tall junction roaring with the sound of a thousand flushing crappers. Tightly grasp the ladder rungs, feel the thick man-mud sludge squish between your fingers and climb upwards. From the top catwalk this is the view into the biggest whirling turd-vortex yet.










pic: Little Mike


Macro, 'glorious culvert of the north against which all culverts are measured' goaded us into her musty depths once more with promises of a foray into her branch known as 'The Academy'. Amusingly 'academy' is ye olde school slang for a brothel and I was more than ready to plunge balls deep into the sewerfresh filth. Being at its termination a mega sewer overflow this is entirely conceivable, more than you were probably crediting me for rather thinking I was merely looking for an excuse to mention brothels, sewerfreshness and balls deep withing a dozen words of each other.











Academy branches from the mainline of Macro at the much photographed archway room then runs promptly to a massive staircase. Staircases are so common these days, how long until someone discovers a drain elevator? Follow the stairs and you'll arrive at the gigantic overflow chamber.











A curry and a sleep at Little Mike's house refreshed us for a rainy Leeds day of busting up Masticator. Masticator is a long meandering canal/culvert similar to the area around Maze in Melbourne. There is lots of graffiti for the eyes, debris for weary feet and rain for the ears. Our eventual journey was halted by rising water levels but Masticator is a relaxing walk if you so desire, and a challenging ninja obstacle course for those keen to boulder. At lots of points you can scale up the walls then traverse pipes, slippery bricks and other obstacles. DDT of the Spiderkin demonstrated the techniques and I absorbed the styles like a sponge.






Those who live in the North and haven't yet discovered the joys of Northern draining are sorely missing out. Those of you who have recently begun their draining 'career', welcome. The North delivers every time with big drains, tasty curry and good adventures. What more could you ask for?


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## Bunk3r (Jun 25, 2008)

quality write up. I hadnt seen pictures of the sewer vortex before, nice.


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## krela (Jun 25, 2008)

Not exactly my idea of a reparative rebirthing


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## thompski (Jun 25, 2008)

All I want to know is - are those hands the result of the curry or the sewage?


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## Solo1 (Jun 25, 2008)

Its just amazing what lies beneath our feet and more so the people who show us it , wicked place and report !!


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## King Al (Jun 25, 2008)

Yep, excellent report as always dsankt! the vortex is stunning


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## ultrix (Jun 25, 2008)

The water in the Masticator, in your last photograph, was a lot deeper than when we did it, 2 weeks ago.


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## LittleMike (Jun 25, 2008)

It was pissing it down all day. Quite a lot of sewage in there too from various csos overflowing. Nice.


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## UrbanX (Jun 25, 2008)

Probably the best draining pics I've ever seen! Well done guys, you wouldn't get me dressed like that outside of freshers week.


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## Sabtr (Jun 25, 2008)

Serious, serious enthusiasts! I would probably do something like that but what about the diseases and pestilence down there?? Hats off to you gents for doing stuff like that.


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## smileysal (Jun 25, 2008)

Very, very nice, love all those arches in Macro/Academy. Like the pic of the stairs and the overflow. Not sure about the entrance tho lol, i'd never get through that small gap lmao. And those gloves! oh dear, wouldn't like to be the one who has to wash those lol.

Excellent pics,

Cheers,

 Sal


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## MD (Jun 25, 2008)

great write up and pictures as always


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## Lightbuoy (Jun 25, 2008)

Simply superb ol' boy! 

Looks like the crawl was well worth the effort. Amazing mixture of construction types too.
Crackin' shots -ta for sharing.

Lb:jimlad:


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## BigLoada (Jun 25, 2008)

Haha! Bin liner chic I love it. Was looking at this on yer site the other night, what can I say? Awesome as usual. Amazing pictures and a fantastic location. But may I ask, why the bin liners? I mean, wouldn't it be better to wear a wetsuit underneath your clothing?


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## BigLoada (Jun 25, 2008)

dsankt said:


> Those who live in the North and haven't yet discovered the joys of Northern draining are sorely missing out. Those of you who have recently begun their draining 'career', welcome. The North delivers every time with big drains, tasty curry and good adventures. What more could you ask for?



I would love to get down some drains but can't find any in the Real North i.e. Newcastle. Plenty culverts but cannot find the drains. Or maybe we need more practice


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## dsankt (Jun 26, 2008)

thompski said:


> All I want to know is - are those hands the result of the curry or the sewage?



Bit of both! 





UrbanX said:


> Probably the best draining pics I've ever seen! Well done guys, you wouldn't get me dressed like that outside of freshers week.



Riding the Tube rocking rubber and coated in sewerfreshness is one of the greatest things ever. Take that you smug bloody londoners 




smileysal said:


> Very, very nice, love all those arches in Macro/Academy. Like the pic of the stairs and the overflow. Not sure about the entrance tho lol, i'd never get through that small gap lmao. And those gloves! oh dear, wouldn't like to be the one who has to wash those lol.
> 
> Excellent pics,
> 
> ...



You should have seen the gf's face when I went to put them into the washing machine with her clothes.





Lightbuoy said:


> Simply superb ol' boy!
> 
> Looks like the crawl was well worth the effort. Amazing mixture of construction types too.
> Crackin' shots -ta for sharing.
> ...



DDT and Little Mike found it, they're well keen. There is another entrance somewhere but this is the most convenient, exploration wise. Plus it's fun. Next time it's novelty body condoms.





BigLoada said:


> Haha! Bin liner chic I love it. Was looking at this on yer site the other night, what can I say? Awesome as usual. Amazing pictures and a fantastic location. But may I ask, why the bin liners? I mean, wouldn't it be better to wear a wetsuit underneath your clothing?



Wetsuit = $$$$, binliners are cheap and DIY. DDT freakin loves DIY, he's the low-tech king.


Thanks all


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## pdtnc (Jun 26, 2008)

wooo!!!

almost too much detail!
and that link to the rubber guys website has left me a little disturbed


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## JulesP (Jun 26, 2008)

The link for Harold made me laugh in a wrong kind of way. Emailed it to me mate - he's into that sort of stuff 
Good explore though - you guys got my respect for doing that - no way you gonna catch me down there!


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## orangeacid (Jun 26, 2008)

This is revolting. But so, so good


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## Commando (Aug 3, 2008)

Yes, this is an awesome and scary place, great pictures though. Rather you than me!


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## swanseamale47 (Aug 4, 2008)

Well done guys, you wouldn't get me through that little slot! lol Wayne


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## screech (Aug 4, 2008)

Cracking stuff, not sure about the entrance tho!!!
Super pics, like the black & white 1 - looks like it could av been a shot straight from a Take That video!!!!!


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## Urban-Warrior (Sep 9, 2008)

nice system.. shame about the entrance gap tho... one too many big macs in my time lol!


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## sneakk (Sep 10, 2008)

Soooo Cool.





But So wrong in oh so many ways. Big respect! Funny report too. Like your style


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## urbtography (Sep 12, 2008)

That entrance slot looks almost too small to fit through, brilliant write up, i love the "Its just moss".


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## underitall (Sep 20, 2008)

Great explore guys, nice to see old reports again.
Do you know anything about the "KM" as featured in this and other tunnel structures?
Your picture, hope you dont mind me using it.


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## Urban Shadow (Oct 14, 2008)

Honestly gives me the shivers every time I see that dude slide threw that hole. Excellent pictures and explore guys.

Shadow


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## OSPA (Oct 15, 2008)

So so dangerous, so so gross, but excellent pics!


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